It's beginning to feel a lot like...

...morning sickness. Blurg.

I haven't gotten sick yet, but for the past two days (5w5-6d), I've been battling bouts of extreme nausea, and not just in the morning!

Today, a co-worker stopped at my desk with her hot sandwich from the cafeteria, and the smell alone made me want to upchuck in my trash can. It was awful. Then I went down to the cafeteria for lunch and it smelled so overwhelmingly of fried food that I just turned around and left. I got a giant green salad from the deli upstairs - these days, that's been a reliable pick for me.

It seems to be worst either right after I've eaten a relatively large meal, or when I've gotten too hungry. Sometimes it's just random, though. I was describing to my mom this afternoon how the thought of the salmon I was supposed to make for dinner tonight just was not sitting well with me, when I had to abruptly stop that line of conversation and change subjects - it was making me nauseous to think about the salmon!

I'm certainly not going to complain about the morning sickness, though. I've read that it's a good sign all is well with the baby. Even better, if I just feel queasy but never throw up, I'll be thrilled!

For now, I have to figure out what to do with this salmon... wish me luck!

Our Secret's Out (Kind Of)

For a few weeks now, our plan has been to tell our families that we are expecting on Mother's Day (3 days after our first ultrasound). We bought Mother's Day cards for our Moms and Grandma cards for them as well. The plan was for them to open the Mom card, then we'd say the other spouse had sent a card as well, so they should open that one (the Grandma card) next. Surprise!

Well on Sunday (Easter) as Mr. B and I were driving to church, I said, "You know, it's too bad we can't tell our families today... I mean it's Easter: a holiday about renewal, new life, rebirth. It would be a perfect time to announce the new life we're working on!" Mr. B suggested I think on it and we'd discuss that afternoon. I became more and more convinced I wanted to tell our parents that day, so I cooked up a plan.

We don't live near either of our families, but I still wanted to capitalize on the shock factor of this news. I decided an unexpected use of technology might just be the ticket. I had a picture of a positive digital pregnancy test on my phone, so I crafted the following text message to all four parents:

Happy Easter! On the subject of holidays, check out our Christmas plans...

 Still a HUGE secret, but we wanted to share with our parents... call us!

Literally within minutes, the phone rang. It was my mother. Crying. :) She and Dad got on the phone together and we told them all about it, including the tidbit that ours is a high-risk pregnancy and we're not ready to share the news with anyone else. They were so happy for us (and themselves - first grandchild for them!) and we hung up filled with warm fuzzies.

We waited over an hour to hear from Mr. B's parents (honestly, we expected them to call first), but they were both away from their phones! Getting nervous (and anxious to get on with it), Mr. B called them. "Are you not checking text messages today?" he asked. They retrieved their phones and read the message together. His mom started squealing, "Oooh! Oooh! Oooh!" when they processed what it meant - it was so fun! Again, we shared the details and talked symptoms, plans, due date, etc. Mr. B's mom is an Ob/Gyn nurse, so it was fun to "talk shop".

It was such a joy and a relief to share this big secret with our parents. They know what a journey this has been for us, so they were really, really excited. It was just the reaction we were hoping for and we're so excited to share other milestones with them along the way.

We plan to tell our siblings after our ultrasound next week, but everyone else will have to wait until the second week of June, when our first trimester is over. Meanwhile, it's a special secret that only our closest family knows about, and we'll gladly keep it that way for a bit longer. :)

Five Weeks

Wow - it's been another week already! What a great feeling to know that another week is safely behind us with no excessive spotting or cramping, and that we're one week closer to an ultrasound, where we can see and confirm that Baby B is growing and developing on schedule. This is my current obsession - I cannot WAIT until 8 a.m. on May 5!

Because it's after midnight and I should be sleeping (am waiting for my work computer to boot up because there's an issue that will keep me up all night if I don't just look at it tonight), let's get to the tracking!

Week: 5

Weight: No Change

Baby is the Size of a(n): Apple Seed!

Symptoms: swollen & sore breasts, extreme exhaustion, hungry ALL the time, occasional dizziness, sleeplessness (e.g., I wake up at 3:00 most mornings and struggle to fall back to sleep), bloating (seriously), and inexplicable moodiness (can turn on a dime and have felt - a few times - like I've lost control of my emotions) 

Current Obsession: those little wax-encased cheeses, whole wheat crackers, asparagus, tacos, chocolate-covered ice cream bars (this changes by the day)

Current Aversion: beef, eggs, and anything greasy (this hasn't changed)

Thinking About: our first ultrasound on May 5 (obsessing, really) and telling our families at Mother's Day!

Four Weeks (and one day)

Yesterday marked the four week point (how is that possible?!), and I had my first beta test. Results: 265! RE & Co. said that's a great number, and I go back Monday for beta #2. I hear that at this point the levels should be doubling about every two days. If that's true, then by Monday I should be at around 1000 - fingers crossed!

Let's see. I think I should add a little tracker here to keep tabs on my progress and to remember all of the crazy things happening to me! I'll try to update weekly (though this assumes I'm not passing out somewhere, stuffing my face, inexplicably crying, or forgetting everything).

Week: 4

Weight: +1

Symptoms: swollen & sore breasts, extreme exhaustion, heightened (really, really heightened) sense of smell, hungry ALL the time, occasional dizziness, weird (anxiety-ridden) dreams, and crying jags that start for no (or very little) reason

Current Obsession: fruit, french toast, biscuits, salmon, and peas

Current Aversion: beef, eggs, and anything greasy

Thinking About: finding some really comfortable bras, and also how and when to tell our families

Edited to Add: Beta #2 (18dpo) was 2,691! We are for sure pregnant. Our first ultrasound (to check placement, size, and hopefully see a heartbeat) is May 5!

It's Big, It's Fat, and It's...

POSITIVE!!

Honestly, I can't believe it and I'm nervous to even write it here, but the tests have been consistently more positive since April 10 (10dpo). Add to that the cramps, shockingly swollen and achy breasts, constant hunger, and inability to keep my eyes open past 8:00 every night, and the signs all point to a little poppy seed snuggling its way in!

No joke on the poppy seed, either: according to The Bump, that's how big our little one is - completely surreal!

Tomorrow morning at 7:00 I have a beta test (blood pregnancy test). I'm nervous and excited, as I think this will all feel so much more real then. It's so exciting, scary, and unbelievable for the Mr. B and I to wrap our heads around the idea of having a baby, but luckily we have each other!

More to come tomorrow after the test... in the meantime I can't stop smiling. :) It's fun to have a secret from the world!